Happy 2011

I wish all my readers, visitors and droppers a very happy and worthwhile 2011.

May we all learn a bit more about ourselves and others, and may it be good.

Looking back

We tend to look back on the past year with all oru feelings and emotions and sometimes we're completely caught by what we have experienced.

A different way is to look back...really back. Knowing it's all over and in the past.
We can leave it there, like we're walking a road and on top of the hill we look back, knowing all will be gone whemn we've walked a few metres more.

Just keep the lessons you've learned.
Just be grateful that you're entering a new day and a new year.

Opinions

Are you one of those people who is able to create an opinion on the basis of almost nothing?

Why do you feel the need to have an opinion about someone else?

Does that make you more interesting? More valuable as a human being?

It's all ego, isn't it?
Having an opinion sometimes makes someone feel better.
What is it? self esteem, security?

Do you really need that?

Why do we take the freedom of others that way? The freedom to be themselves.

Why do you take the freedom of yourself?
Being not opinionated is so much more interesting. And so much more relaxing.

Blaming someone

We're living in a time where people always seemt o be looking for someone to blame.

Recession? Due to the banks and the governments.
A row? He's to blame?
Cold? It's the weather.

I really had to train my children to losen themselves from the automatic behaviour to look outside themselves first.

When there's a problem, why start blaming someone?
There is almost never a clear cause to a problem. As we buddhists say: there's always a cause for the cause of the cause.

It's far more important to observe how we react and to change the way we react into a constructive way of dealing with the situation.

So instead of trying to find out who's guilty and who's to blame, I want my children to react with dignity and find a proper solution to the problem.
To me it's a kind of self respect.

Perceiving the world

How you perceive the world is dependent on your own truth.

See this movie.

I'll write more about it later, as I'm needed somewhere else now.

Being together?

How do you feel when you're part of a group, a family party?

Some people can feel very lonely, even in a crowd.

Are you one of those people?
How do you feel?

A happy christmas

I think christmas is the most bonding event of the year.
People want to be together and want to forget differences.

Even on the political stage the important people try to stay nice and peaceful.

How about your life?

Happy christmas to you

Ice and snow against the front door.
A cold wind blowing.

But it's warm in our hearts and we want to share the best of ourselves with other people.

Wouldn't it be great when people would live like every day is christmas?

I wish you a very happy christmas.
May it bring the inspiration for each day of the next year.

Expectations

In this time of expectations it's clear what they do with people.
During christmastime most of them make people happy...only the expectations I mean.
People dream of a white christmas, or of one without any snow at all.
Of their family and friends, of presents.

No harm intended.

But then it's time to live the time of dreams, and most often it turns out that the dreams can't come true.
The result?
Disappointed people.

It's what buddhism says: stay in the present and that's enough.
Loning creates suffering.

Snow: beauty, boring or burden?

The delicate beauty of snow is covering the world again.
It's amazing that nature does this without human intervention.

I'm always amazed that so many people complain when we finally get some snow.
Because they get dirty shoes or have to walk more careful they lose all admiration for beauty.

Snow is amazing.

The softness, the purity.

Have you seen it at night? It seems to radiate light.

It's your own attitude that defines the character of snow.

Buddhism and christmas?

I was asked if I celebrate christmas.

Let's first say that I respect the fact that other people have their celebrations.
Striving for peace within the family and outside the family is never a bad thing.

We're living here in an area where the old traditions are kept, so christmas is more of a festivity of giving hope, that a deep belief that so many years ago a baby was born at a place that was not suited for a delivery.

Because the children go to school and experience many special events during this time of december we've decided not to place ourselves outside of the mainstream, but celebrate with them.
We buddhists use prayer flags and candles and such, so there's no real problem.
In fact, we here smile when we hear about initiatives of hanging leaflets with nice wishes in the tree, as some shops and schools do.

The image of long lines of prayer flags and the silver streamlets in the tree reveals an interesting closeness of symbolism.

Buddhism is noneclusive, which means that we can have our own choice of religion beside the main teachings of buddhism.
So the answer if we celebrate christmas is: "Yes"
At times we have our own symbolism and own interpretations, but none bothers about that.

Looking into the other garden

We're living in a strange time.

We're watched everywhere, even when we go shopping. It's even difficult to go by bus without a computer traching where you're going in and out.

When all the information is put together someone else can take over your life.

When you travel to the usa you need to give all sorts of information, including your sexual preferences and if you're on a special diet.

It's not only the governments requiring control and information, ordinary people want to posess complete insight in the lives of others too.
"Mind your own business" is not wanted to be said anymore. On the contrary.
When you don't want to know everything about others you're out of order.
When you don't want to share it all you might be a problem for whomever has something to say.

People want to know everything about the lives of others like they have nothing else to do.
In fact, they take the places of judges and condemn others without ever having studied law and without having all the facts a judge needs to know.

Even more interesting.
There are so many people brought to court, because people and society can't rule themselves anymore and have become completely dependent upon the judges, that the judges won't read the files anymore.

It gives the impression that the law acts opposite of how the layman acts. Not because the law requieres that, but because there is so much to do.

The safe feeling that the law protects us is taken away, because good and nice people are convicted by judges who don't care.

When I was still a christian I was always amazed when people said: "God would say that....". And interestingly enough God always said what they thought.
I would always comment: God makes up his own mind. And he doesn't need us to judge, he can perfectly well do that by himself.

My gram used to say that people shouldn't look in the garden of someone else before they had their own garden in perfect order.
I think she was right.

Work on the person you are yourself, set your own standards and leave the karma of others to them.

When the Buddha was dying,Ananda asked who would be their teacher after death.

Buddha replied to his disciple:

Be lamps unto yourselves.

Be refuges unto yourselves.

Take yourself no external refuge.

Hold fast to the truth as a lamp.

Hold fast to the truth as a refuge.

Look not for a refuge in anyone besides yourselves.

And those, Ananda, who either now or after I am dead,

Shall be a lamp unto themselves,

Shall betake themselves as no external refuge,

But holding fast to the truth as their lamp,

Holding fast to the truth as their refuge,

Shall not look for refuge to anyone else besides themselves,

It is they who shall reach to the very topmost height;

But they must be anxious to learn.

Quoted in Joseph Goldstein, The Experience of Insight

Cleaning the pavement

In the past it was a local law that people should clean the pavement from snow, ice and plant materials.

A few years ago the law was deleted.
People didn't need a law like that, as they cared for each other and would clean the pavement anyway.

This year we've had lots of snow and ice already.
Many people didn't care to clean the pavement, thus making it risky for the elderly, pregnant women and handicapped people to walk outside.

Couples of two working people were hiding behind: "we have to leave early and arrive at home late."

Well, taking a handful of salt and throwing the salt on the pavement doesn't cost much time.

Fighting emotions

Fighting emotions costs a lot of energy and it even gives you a headache.
So why not let the emotions come to you?
Maybe they've looked far bigger from a distance.

When you meet your emotions they're not half as bad as when you keep them at a distance.

It's like being in the cold.
You can put your shoulders higher, and shiver a lot, even before the body sognals it wants to shiver.
You'll certainly get muscle ache and headache, and the cold won't be less.
When you relax the blood flows easier from cold to warm places and vise versa.
You keep much warmer and you won't experience muscke ache the next day.

Giving birth

Giving birth is one of the most impressive experiences of a human being.
It's amazing that so many people let others dictate what to do and where.

Newborn babies are subject to routines that are not all necessary.
Ofcourse reflexes need to be tested, but why put a baby in a bath or hold it under a stream of water
It's just for the idea of cleaneliness.

The grease in the skin of a baby prevents infection and it enables a baby to keep it's temperature easier at the desired level.

Do you know that the grease is perfect to treat dried out hands?

Your support is needed

The years that people freely gave a donation to someone who needed financial support are over.
Many people lives less in lxury than before and consider that a loss, so they won't think of donating money to others.
Why help them forward when they themselves had to step back?

Two young schoolgirls have the opportunity to take part in a student exchange program.
It's an exchange of 10 to 14 days between The Netherlands and a few other European Countries.
The aim is that young people learn from other cultures and learn to behave in other cultures. This will create more understanding between people, more care, and this will ensure more peaceful behaviour in the future and hopefully in better economical exchange.
There are a lot more reasons, but you'll get the idea.

Quite some of their classmates come from families who can pay for annual vacations (at least 1) and lots of extras. Both girls come from a family with 4 older brothers with special needs.
They have developed in nice young women, with a warm and caring heart and a good feeling for responsibility for others. They would give their last piece of bread to someone with hunger, and they won't hesitate to give their most precies bracelet to someone who tell them it's the most beautiful thing ever seen.

Wouldn't it be a pity when these girls had to stay home and see the others leave?

They need financial support.

One of them already has made a blog to try and find sponsors, the other is making one.

Wouldn't it be nice to sponsor them?
For instance with 7 dollar a week when they write a blogpost each day? Thus sponsoring each blogpost with a dollar?

Or maybe with a 10 dollars for putting your blogbadge in the sidebar for a week?

I'm thinking aloud, but maybe you have far better ideas.

Come on and help them.

The blog of one of them is here.
When the other girl has her blog ready I'll inform you.

Buddhistic school

Buddhists in Amsterdam wanted to create a basic school for their children, just like other religions did in the past.

They did a lot of work, but found themselves with empty hands when the court decided not to grant their wishes.
The main reason is that buddhism is not a religion like others.

Ofcourse the buddhistic parents are filing an appeal.
The law states that parents are allowed to decide at which school a child gets his or her education.

All I can hope that they'll succeed.

Was this her karma?

A woman in the Philippines seemed to be in a hurry.
People were standing in line to buy lotto tickets, but she pushed herself in front of a man and bought a ticket.

After that, the man bought a ticket too.
He was spending his holiday in his homecountry.

Never ever did he expect to win, so when people told him to check the number he said he'd do that the next day.

He won 12 million euro!!

Right now he lives in the USA, but he wants to use the money to spend his retirement in his homecountry.

The story doesn't tell anything about the woman.

Her behaviour had far reaching consequences.

Enjoying snow

At the busstop people were complaining about the slippery roads.
In the bus someone was complaning about the insurance.
I nearly got in the complaining mood myself and when I was walking again I forgot to look around me for a short while.

I missed the beauty of the snow for these moments.
What a pity.
We've longed so many years to seen snow in these amounts.

I felt grateful for realising that I should enjoy nature a bit more and immediately I was caught by a bird that was picking in the snow and threw bits of snow around.
It didn't look distressed, On the contrary. He made a happy impression.

What have you seen today?

Inner peace - 3

The Dalai Lama said about inner peace:

According to my own experience, the highest level of inner calm comes from the development of love and compassion. The more concerned we are with the happiness of others, the more we increase our own well-being. Friendliness and warmth towards others allow us to relax and help us to dispel any sense of fear or insecurity so we can overcome whatever obstacles we face.

That's my experience too.

I've been through some very bad times in my life.
When I lost a child I thought the future was one black deep hole.
But the moment someone needed me that changed.
I completely forgot about my own grief and I was able to get in touch with the best in me again. Reaching out with love and compassion to the other person made me aware that the most important part of me wasn't changed. I was still able to feel that very important rest, and because of that I could find a way to live on.

Inner peace - 2

Inner peace is not something that's thrown in from the outside.
It's not other people who give it to you.
You have to enable yourself to let go of what prevents you to get in contact with it.

Realising that you're not the centre of the world can be very healing.
There's no need to expect a lot from other people, because there's no need for them to live up to your expectations. They have to live their own path, they have to follow their own pace of development.
Ofcourse you can assist and support them. Without criticism. With care and compassion.
But they need to stay true to their own being, just like you have to stay true to yourself.

Inner peace can be reached by leaving behind all criticism and expectations. Not only those with regards to others, but also in relation with yourself.

Inner peace - 1

Finding and keeping inner peace is for most of us a real struggle.
We want inner peace and calm so very much, that this loning only brings us further away of what we want.

Why not let go?

Why not be grateful for what happens?
Why no be grateful for waking up, seeing a new day?
Why not be gratful for your breakfast?
Why not be grateful for the shoes you're able to wear?

When you're able to develop an attitude of gratefulness and take nothing for granted you'll notice a change in yourself that enables you to develop inner peace.

It's sinterklaas

It's so wonderful to see children waiting for Sinterklaas.
With all their being they believe in what they see.
They see nothing but good.

Isn't it a rich way to deal with life?

OK, we know that life has many set backs, troubles and disappointments, but nevertheless.
It can be so good when we deal with the beautiful moments by accepting them in full glory.

Giving a 100%

A lot of sites, like scrapbook sites, organise give-aways during the month of december.

But when I read all the requirements to be able to participate I wonder if we're talking about give-aways or a simple way to make people advert your site.

In my opinion giving is unconditional.
That means that there's no need to jump and dance to make a chance to win an item.

When I want people to do something for the chance to win, I'm trading something. Their services against my prize.

I know that society is about winning and using people more than about care for others.

Practicing unconditional giving is very worthwhile and a pleasant experience.

What would you do?

A small baby is born with HIV.
She's lucky.
An aunt lives in a european country and she takes the baby with her to give her the best medical care possible.

The baby is brought to the attention of the authorities and an official request is made to grant the child the official papers to stay in the country.

A year later the authorities still haven't taken a decision...

What would you do?

Behaviour and cold weather

It's winter here, and people dive in their coats and only stick their eyes out to see where they are going.

Even in the shops they seem to be bundles of clothes without smiles.

Your smile is much needed though.

Have you noticed that old people are afraid to walk on the snowy streets?
Why not give them a hand, or do their shopping for them?

have you noticed how much time it takes to dress small children for the ciold and how difficult it is to go shopping with them? So help these people.

Each smile and gesture of good will will make you a better person and will improve the world.

Being someone different

I can't understand why some people always present themselves in another way than they are at home.

It's like roleplaying.

Are you one of them?

Why do you keep that distance to yourself?
Insecurity?
Not wanting to take responsibility?